I was visiting a newly married couple in the evening, and as usually happens the talk got around to the experiences of marital life. Those already experienced were advising on both sides and it was a very excited and spice filled discussion. While on the way back, I began reflecting on why a man would want to marry at all. What is it that a man could get out of marriage, that he could not get otherwise!
First and foremost, at least in the formative years of a marital life is someone who would share the marital bed and keep the man happy on that respect. After all, we men are all built to function that way. Sometimes I wonder if that is all that is there for all the men to do. I even had a discussion a long time back on this with a female friend of mine on this topic. She very frankly made it clear that had it not been that only men carry the million of invaders required to infuse life into the otherwise infertile egg, there would be no need for the creed of man, per se. And with all the accessories available today, she was not far from the truth.
Coming back to the topic, the second reason why a man would want to marry is for someone who would do the basic feeding, cooking, and housekeeping stuff. Men, I admit, are not socially geared to that role, although more are picking up the basics pretty good these days. But then again, you can always hire a maid for the same purpose.
Third reason, is for that yearning for constant companionship. Somebody who would take up the emotional side of man (yeah, men do have a emotional quotient), listen with a good year. Someone who is smart, intelligent and is able to engage the higher needs of existence. Preferably someone who can also handle the finances (but then you have portfolio managers for that). Again, for this a man can have very good female company that is totally platonic.
All the reason that I have listed out above are very easy for a rich man to have without having to actually be tied to any one woman, if the man has something like a few billion dollars at the start of his career. I have earlier pondered upon what a billion dollar every year would mean. Now it seems that it would free you of constrained relationships.
There is yet another reason why a man might want to marry. And that is for an offspring. For a child that a man can call his own. For a kid, for which the man can proudly say he has fathered. I think that is the most major reason, why a man would go to any lengths of time to actually search for such a potential wife. And for this, and for this alone, I could not find any counter. I am not able to see what alternative could potentially replace this need (let's leave aside those men that choose to live the life of a hermit out of the society).
After writing such a post, I still hope that someone out there is still ready to marry me sometime in the future, if not now.
====================================================================
Someday, I would hopefully find such candid discussion from a woman. Would be interesting to know and assimilate. Men are supposed to be narcissistic chauvinist. I wonder what keeps the women from being so.
First and foremost, at least in the formative years of a marital life is someone who would share the marital bed and keep the man happy on that respect. After all, we men are all built to function that way. Sometimes I wonder if that is all that is there for all the men to do. I even had a discussion a long time back on this with a female friend of mine on this topic. She very frankly made it clear that had it not been that only men carry the million of invaders required to infuse life into the otherwise infertile egg, there would be no need for the creed of man, per se. And with all the accessories available today, she was not far from the truth.
Coming back to the topic, the second reason why a man would want to marry is for someone who would do the basic feeding, cooking, and housekeeping stuff. Men, I admit, are not socially geared to that role, although more are picking up the basics pretty good these days. But then again, you can always hire a maid for the same purpose.
Third reason, is for that yearning for constant companionship. Somebody who would take up the emotional side of man (yeah, men do have a emotional quotient), listen with a good year. Someone who is smart, intelligent and is able to engage the higher needs of existence. Preferably someone who can also handle the finances (but then you have portfolio managers for that). Again, for this a man can have very good female company that is totally platonic.
All the reason that I have listed out above are very easy for a rich man to have without having to actually be tied to any one woman, if the man has something like a few billion dollars at the start of his career. I have earlier pondered upon what a billion dollar every year would mean. Now it seems that it would free you of constrained relationships.
There is yet another reason why a man might want to marry. And that is for an offspring. For a child that a man can call his own. For a kid, for which the man can proudly say he has fathered. I think that is the most major reason, why a man would go to any lengths of time to actually search for such a potential wife. And for this, and for this alone, I could not find any counter. I am not able to see what alternative could potentially replace this need (let's leave aside those men that choose to live the life of a hermit out of the society).
After writing such a post, I still hope that someone out there is still ready to marry me sometime in the future, if not now.
====================================================================
Someday, I would hopefully find such candid discussion from a woman. Would be interesting to know and assimilate. Men are supposed to be narcissistic chauvinist. I wonder what keeps the women from being so.
11 comments:
Doesn't seem appropriate sayin on this post...lol!!
But anycase, Happy Independence Day!
marriage is a tough thing....You hv got to get a partner who is willing to work it out and roughen out the frictions....
Tugga(http://travelogueworthtwocents.blogspot.com)
@annie, hopefully someday you will say what you want to ... :)
@tugga, there a full dose of that too in the discussion of that too during the evening. But what I wanted to say was it is the dependence on each other that starts it all. What if due to what I have said earlier, that reason is taken?
maybe they marry because of LOVE? lol. why was that never brought up. perhaps its also a symbolism thing. I can see why a woman who's been with a man for quite a long time can ask herself "Why won't he marry me?" and really, i mean hopefully, the love is there? and if they've already had a child for example, then you don't need much else. But it's just the fact that you are married that plays a big role. think of the other names for marriage as in "tying the knot", and "you're mine now, biatch" LOL jk. but you see what i'm saying?
@xydni,
Good point. There is always love, if not before but after. Without that it would all dissolve.
My point above was more from the perspective of tying down the other person to your being only. Taking that freedom, whatever small amount it maybe. Of course, there are those that would tell me that I give it up for something I love. But if you seriously put your mind and heart to it, would you not love to retain the right to walk away without the fight and/or the pangs of guilt.
Most of us have been brought up with the notion of marriage being a holy institution, something arranged straight from heaven. And it is so severely drilled into us that we can't figure out otherwise.
Heard this before...goes sumtin like this-
You marry a gal not caus you want to stay with her but caus you can't stay without her.
@annie,
That was what I believed until she ditched me, and went her way with someone else. I now have become a cynic. But as I said before somewhere, this stupid foolish heart still wants.
Yup..unlike other things...even if jilted in love...somehow we all still continue to place our belief in it.
hey..
most realistic post..
but there still some men who think marriage is a holy institution and they want to marry consider their soul mate chosen by God..
for them marriage is way to celebtate their love..
and not for any gains..
The answer I guess, lies in the inherent subconscious desire to ensure the bloodline is carried forward....at the end of the day inspite of all our abstractions we are not much different form our neanderthal ancestors..!! BTW, there's some similar stuff up on my blog..check it out sometime!!
Hmm. Marrying for a child doesn't make sense. Theoretically, you can always knock a woman up and offer to raise the child yourself, without the bond of marriage, right?
I think men marry because they realise that with time, their youth fades and usually their paycheck isn't big enough to attract 20-somethings. Hence, the need for someone to come home to.
But do you raise an interesting point.
Post a Comment